The Wrong Rabbit Hole
by coral2000
Summary: Alice goes down the wrong rabbit hole and ends up in Neverland, where she's not quite sure how to get herself back to Wonderland. And, apparently, neither is Peter Pan. Short drabble; oneshot.


Alice always seemed to find herself in the oddest situations.

_Well,_ she thought to herself, adjusting her black headband, _I suppose things could've ended up worse._ She surveyed her surroundings as she dusted off the full skirt of her blue dress and came to the realization that she had no idea where she was.

Slightly amused, she thought to herself, _My, I must have fallen down the wrong rabbit hole_. And then she laughed lightly at the oddity of the sentence itself – to fall down a rabbit hole was one strange occurrence, but to fall down the wrong one? Oh, she always did the wrong thing, even when the thing itself was wrong. Therefore, she knew better than most that two wrongs didn't make a right (although three lefts did).

She was in a strange place, although quite a bit less so than her curious Wonderland, where she had been meaning to go. However, she decided that there was still a bit of a chance that she had ended up in the wrong area of Wonderland, but in Wonderland nonetheless, so she called out, "Oh, Mr. Rabbit? Hatter?" She looked around hopefully. "Cheshire Cat?"

She felt someone watching her. Surely it was the cat – drat that cat! Always hiding, always playing games until her mind spun and she got dizzy. "Cheshire?" she asked the darkness behind her. She put her hands on her hips sternly. "I know you're out there!"

The trees shifted and she saw something gold with sparkles fly quickly through – something decidedly un-Cheshire Cat. And two eyes, much smaller than the cat's and black as beetles. She became a little frightened, just a little.

"Oh, dear!" she said to herself. "If it's not the cat…"

She backed up.

"Perhaps I'm not in Wonderland?" she thought out loud.

"Wonderland?" The trees shifted. "What's Wonderland? And who are you?"

It was the voice of a _boy._ Perhaps she hadn't left anywhere, really, and it was just some boy trying to confuse her and hiding in the trees doing whatever boys do. But she wasn't quite sure what to think, so she just lifted her chin and replied, "My name is Alice. And Wonderland is the most whimsically wonderfully frustrating place in the world, thank you."

The boy frowned; she could feel it, even if she couldn't see him. "_Neverland_ is the most wonderful place," he corrected. "Are you mixed up?"

Alice frowned. "Wonderland is my _home_, and I'll thank you not to insult it. It is most certainly a better and more frightful place than this Neverland of yours. Neverland, _indeed_," she glowered. "Now, if you'll excuse me-"

The boy said, "In Neverland, you never have to worry about grown-up things. Never. And there's no need for you to become one, either. Nobody grows up. You can stay a child forever! It's always fun and happy, and there are no rules or chores. It's better than anything Wonderland could be."

Alice bristled. "In _Wonderland,_" she began, fuming, "everything is nonsense. Nothing is what it is, because everything is what it isn't. It's more magical, than… than…"

Whilst she stumbled over her words, the boy laughed and asked, "Pixie dust?"

Alice scowled. "Come _out_, whoever you are! Come out!"

It was a boy. A flying boy. He hovered in the air, dressed in all green, with a silly hat, floppy red-orange hair, and an upturned nose. He bowed with a flourish. "Peter Pan," he introduced himself.

"Alice." Hadn't she already told him her name?

"Where are you from, Alice?" He turned upside-down in the air, with a ridiculous smile.

Alice wasn't perturbed by his ability to fly. Stranger things had happened in Wonderland, much stranger! If he thought he was queer, well, he should try to have a tea party with the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse sometime, or hear a story from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum! No, he should try to be lost in the depths of Wonderland, stumble through a garden of flowers, and be called a weed! She wasn't sure why she was so upset by a boy she had just met, but something about him just made her mad. "I'm from _Wonderland,_" she said, "And I'm finding my way back there now."

The boy made a face and tapped his knee. "How?" he asked.

"I shall find a way. Do you happen to have any rabbit holes around?"

Peter's face was confused. "A rabbit hole? Like… for _rabbits_?" When Alice nodded, he scratched his head. "Why'd you need one?"

"To get _home_," insisted Alice. "I need to get back to Wonderland."

Peter looked like she had gone crazy. "Well, you're in Neverland now, where nobody grows and-"

"How do I get back to Wonderland if there aren't any rabbit holes?" Alice looked upset. "Are you sure there aren't any? Have you seen any white rabbits? With pocketwatches?"

Peter shook his head, but Alice pressed on.

"He always seems to be late, but that's because his watch is two days behind and the queen would chop off his head…"

Peter made a face. "A queen?"

Alice set her chin. "Well, don't judge Wonderland on the _queen_. She's a terror, honestly, but that doesn't mean-"

"Well, Neverland doesn't have any of that!" Peter boasted.

"There has to be _something_ of the sort!"

A cannonball sailed through the air, followed with loud shouts.

"Hook!" cried Peter in alarm.

"Ha!" exclaimed Alice. "So there _is_ something about Neverland that isn't-"

Peter covered Alice's mouth and placed a finger to his lips. "Shh," he said warningly, trying to catch a glimpse of the situation through the trees.

Alice struggled for a moment before pushing Peter's hand away indignantly. "I can take care of myself," she announced, dusting off her skirt, "And I'll thank you not to touch me again, if you please."

Peter made a face at her. "You sound like an _adult_."

Alice gasped at the insult. "How dare you?" she exclaimed. "Me, an adult? Adult, _indeed_. Much like Neverland…"

She stopped, seeing Peter reach for something in a belt around his waist.

"My," gasped Alice, backing up. "Might that be a knife?"

"It's a dagger." But Peter wasn't paying attention to her anymore. He was edging towards a tree.

As Peter ignored her, for the most part, Alice turned away. "Well, _thank you_, for nothing. Nothing, indeed. I just haven't the time for this." But as she began to leave, she heard Peter yell, startled, and the voice of the Cheshire Cat drifted toward her.

"Oh, Alice," he called slyly, "Aren't you in the wrong Wonderland?"

Alice whipped around to see a wide, white smile and two yellow eyes with black pupils. "Oh, Cheshire!" she exclaimed. "Yes, yes I am! Might you tell me which direction I ought to be going?"

"Well…" replied the cat, slowly forming into existence as Peter yelped and brandished his dagger. "That depends a good deal on where – you – want – to – get – to." He talked slowly, putting long silences between his words.

Alice frowned. This seemed awfully like the first conversation she'd ever had with him. "I'd like to get back to Wonderland, of course."

"Of course," laughed the cat, stretching out. "But everywhere leads to Wonderland. And nowhere is how you get there."

Alice stomped her foot. "Stop talking in riddles!" she told the cat.

"Is it?" The cat was disappearing again.

"Wait!" called Alice, questions suddenly forming. "Why are you in Neverland? How did you get here? Are you returning to Wonderland? What did you mean?"

But the cat merely laughed and faded, all but his stripes which unraveled like ribbons. His glowing eyes and smile remained, but he winked and his eyes were gone. His smile vanished shortly thereafter.

Alice fumed. "You cat!" she huffed. "Fine then! I shall find my way back myself."

Peter seemed shaken up. "What _was_ that?"

"It was the Cheshire Cat, thank you," replied Alice loftily.

"How did he get here?"

Alice stumbled. "I am not quite sure," she admitted, as Peter barreled on.

"He seems a bit…" He twirled a finger around his ear and made a silly face.

"Everyone is mad in Wonderland."Alice shifted through some vines.

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Mad?"

There was a pause while Alice turned around. "Why, of course not!" she exclaimed. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Aren't you from Wonderland?"

Alice paused for a moment. "Well… I suppose I am a little bit mad, seeing as I must've been mad to get there." After a moment, Alice drew herself up and said, "All of the best people usually are."

"Are what?"

"Why, mad, of course."

"But you said you weren't mad!"

"But I changed my mind didn't I? Oh, but I'm sounding more and more like all from Wonderland. But I'm not even there! Curiouser and curiouser!"

Peter sheathed his dagger. "Does everyone in Wonderland talk like that?"

Alice thought for a minute before deciding that perhaps a card or two spoke differently. Did the King count? Because he mainly just repeated. "Why, no," she settled on. "Of course, most do." She sighed. "I don't suppose you have any idea how I can get back to Wonderland?"

The sounds of fighting and yelling stopped and Peter relaxed. "The boys must've taken care of it," he announced, pointing toward where the scuffle had been. "Of course, not as well as I could've." He puffed out his chest and finally said, "Well, if you tell me where Wonderland is and I tell you where Neverland is, maybe we could find our way there."

Alice sighed. "So where is Neverland?"

Peter rubbed his chin and tilted his head for a moment, thinking. Then his eyes lit up and he pointed a finger to the sky. "Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning," he answered proudly.

Alice was dismayed. "But I don't know how to get back to Wonderland from there!"

"Well, where's Wonderland?"

Alice huffed, thinking. "Well, you can reach it through the White Rabbit's rabbit hole, or it may be through the most curious of small locked doors with a talking doorknob. But you often reach it through a dream."

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it," recited Peter, as though he were remembering something.

"What was that?" asked Alice, frowning. "If it's a lesson, I can remember one." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before reciting:

"How doth the little crocodile  
Improve his shining tail,  
And pour the waters of the Nile  
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,  
How neatly spreads his claws,  
And welcomes little fishes in  
With gently smiling jaws!"

Peter laughed loudly. "That reminds me of the tick-tock crocodile that tries to eat Hook! Never smile at a crocodile, I'll say! Don't get taken in by his welcome grin; he's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin." He shot a giant smile at Alice.

Alice let a small smile slip and swept a tiny bow. "Why, thank you. The caterpillar taught it to me."

Peter grinned. "Why you're not half bad," he consented.

"I am not sure whether I am to be pleased or offended," returned Alice, pushing her hair back.

"If you were a grownup-"

"Oh, grownups! I never want to grow up!"

"Never?"

"Why, never for now. After all, never is an awfully long time."

Peter blinked. "I've heard someone say that same thing about never before," he said.

Alice blinked, intrigued. "Who?"

"Wendy."

"Was she your friend?"

"Of sorts. Well… I don't think-"

"If you don't think, then the March Hare would say that you shouldn't talk."

Peter laughed suddenly. "Guess not," he allowed. He looked at Alice for any signs of jealousy of Wendy or interest in him. After all, most girls liked him, didn't they? Well, Tiger Lily and the mermaids seemed to. But Alice seemed more preoccupied with her surroundings. "If Wonderland is part of the world, then it must be made of faith, trust, and pixie dust, like everything else," he said aloud, trying to recapture Alice's attention.

"Why, I'm not sure that's what the world is made of at all!" Alice said. She thought for another minute before adding, "And I'm not sure if Wonderland is in our world, either… Pray tell, what might pixie dust be?"

"With a little bit of faith and trust, and a sprinkle of pixie dust, anyone can fly!" announced Peter, flying in a loop and turning around.

"Could I?" asked Alice, interested.

"Well, of course! But the moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it."

"I'd love to try!" Alice sighed happily. "I've always wanted to fly. It's a dream unlike Wonderland."

"Where's Tink?" asked Peter suddenly. "She has pixie dust. Tinkerbell?"

But as he turned around to look for her, there was a shriek and Alice was accompanied by a short man with a giant green hat and gray hair and a brown rabbit with a tuft of yellow hair.

"Alice, you've lost some of your muchness!" exclaimed the man. "Just being here..." he shuddered. "It sucked out some of your muchness and made you into one of them!"

"Yes, one of them!" echoed the rabbit, smiling dizzily. "Tea?"

"Why, Hatter! March Hare!" Alice looked around. "How did you find me?"

"Followed your muchness, of course," the man straightened his yellow-green coat and tried to look important. "Couldn't let your unbirthday go unnoticed, now could we?"

"Nope, nope." The rabbit shook his head, looking mournful, before he suddenly brightened. "Today is your unbirthday? It's mine, too!"

"And mine!" cried the Mad Hatter, excited. "Tea, tea! This calls for tea!"

Tipsily, the rabbit pulled a stack of teacups from under his red coat. He pulled out a knife, too, and a plate of butter. "Would you like some butter with your tea?" he asked Alice.

"Don't be ridiculous!" exclaimed the man, almost sounding angry. "Nobody has butter with their tea! Put in jam! Jam, of course, two spoons!"

Alice looked at Peter apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I really should-"

"Have a cup of tea!" suggested the man and the rabbit at the same time.

Peter wasn't sure if he had ever been more confused in his life. "Who are they?" he asked, scrunching his nose in bewilderment.

Alice looked perplexed as they danced in a circle around her. "The Mad Hatter and the March Hare. I did tell you everyone from Wonderland is mad, didn't I?"

"They're _really_ mad…"

"Yes, yes of course." Alice seemed to be paying more attention to their antics than to him, so Peter tried to fly in front of her to catch her attention.

"Is there-"

"He flies!" exclaimed the March Hare.

"Yes, yes he flies! Oh dear, oh dear!" The Mad Hatter seemed distressed. "We can't have you spending time around a flying boy! Back to the tea party, Alice!" They began pulling her away.

"Please, I must say goodbye to Peter," tried Alice, struggling slightly.

"Yes, yes, quite. Goodbye Peter, Peter!" called the Hatter as the Hare beside him chorused, "Goodbye, goodbye!"

Alice looked back hopelessly. "Goodbye," she said, with a desperate look.

Peter hovered. "Don't say goodbye!" he blurted, remembering something he had told Wendy, "Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting." He said it all quickly and rushed.

Alice looked baffled. "I won't forget. But we've barely met for over a few minutes!"

"Meet again?" Peter swept off his hat.

"Next time I try to reach Wonderland," promised Alice. "Maybe we could be friends."

"You could be the Lost Boys' mother!" said Peter happily.

"What?" asked Alice, looking puzzled and indignant.

"What?" repeated Peter, seeing nothing to be puzzled or indignant over in his sentence.

"Yes, what indeed!" interrupted the hatter. "Keep moving, moving, moving! Flying boys are bad for your health, you know." He nodded knowledgably.

Alice smiled slowly at Peter. "Until we meet again," she said, trying to curtsy as she was being pushed away.

Peter bowed deeply, almost to his feet, and shot up quickly. "I forgot to ask," he yelled as Alice went further. "Do you know any good stories?"

"So many you wouldn't-"

She had been pushed down a rabbit hole. Peter was alarmed for a moment before remembering that's where she wanted to go. The hatter and the hare jumped in after her.

"Until later," he yelled down after her, with a touch of desperation. "Don't grow up too fast!"

He wasn't sure where the last part came from; who was he to judge her decision to age into an adult? But as he stood staring down the dark rabbithole, all he knew was that he never wanted her to grow up. And even though they had only met for a few minutes, he wanted more than anything to see her again.

And he would. Because when Peter Pan wanted something, he would stop at nothing to get it.

The End


End file.
